8PM: Think think think. Right. Too simple to accomplish or just too hard to do. Nothing different than the usual stuff like: using my X-rays to see through my notebook, looking at the same black spot on the right side of the wall. But my mind is still blank. Now I was supposed to say “like always” but it can’t be like that. It simply can’t.
What am I actually thinking of? Music? School? Friends? Family? None of them. It’s like my mind hates me for trying to force those topics inside. It’s like my mind stopped working. Why? What? How?
Don’t even want to make it work. Don’t want to think about anything. Don’t want to think about tomorrow, today or even next week. Nothing matters if life goes on. It’s like trying to accomplish something you know it’ll never come true. Useless, a waste of time and even makes you angry. That’s why it’s already
9PM: Mad and feeling awful. Strangely enough I don’t even want to think why. Feeling useless and powerless. Jesus fell down [actually fell off his chair but those are just tiny details]. Eating [or using] KitKat won’t make you feel better and strong. But at least it will “clear” your thoughts.
Everything starts at the ending of the begging, and never sooner. That’s why it was meant to be that day, at that hour, exactly in that location.
10PM: how can it be? It was only that short? It will never be the same? Why? We’re the same people and we’ll still be ourselves, even after 5 minutes of reading this piece of shit. That’s right. We can still drink 7 shots [+DOUA] and play ligretto like there’s no tomorrow. Earth still has the shape of an oblate spheroid even after 4.54 billion years.
11PM: I can tell you now, after wasting 2 [DOUA] minutes of your fascinating life that the trip [DOUA] OWNED.
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