8PM: Think think think. Right. Too simple to accomplish or just too hard to do. Nothing different than the usual stuff like: using my X-rays to see through my notebook, looking at the same black spot on the right side of the wall. But my mind is still blank. Now I was supposed to say “like always” but it can’t be like that. It simply can’t.
What am I actually thinking of? Music? School? Friends? Family? None of them. It’s like my mind hates me for trying to force those topics inside. It’s like my mind stopped working. Why? What? How?
Don’t even want to make it work. Don’t want to think about anything. Don’t want to think about tomorrow, today or even next week. Nothing matters if life goes on. It’s like trying to accomplish something you know it’ll never come true. Useless, a waste of time and even makes you angry. That’s why it’s already
9PM: Mad and feeling awful. Strangely enough I don’t even want to think why. Feeling useless and powerless. Jesus fell down [actually fell off his chair but those are just tiny details]. Eating [or using] KitKat won’t make you feel better and strong. But at least it will “clear” your thoughts.
Everything starts at the ending of the begging, and never sooner. That’s why it was meant to be that day, at that hour, exactly in that location.
10PM: how can it be? It was only that short? It will never be the same? Why? We’re the same people and we’ll still be ourselves, even after 5 minutes of reading this piece of shit. That’s right. We can still drink 7 shots [+DOUA] and play ligretto like there’s no tomorrow. Earth still has the shape of an oblate spheroid even after 4.54 billion years.
11PM: I can tell you now, after wasting 2 [DOUA] minutes of your fascinating life that the trip [DOUA] OWNED.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Escape, seems like déjà-vu
‘Run, run, run.’ The single thing I can hear in my mind. Seems simple and easy, but it’s pretty much hard to accomplish. And also sounds familiar.
Silent footsteps…then run as quick as you can. Lock the door. Jump the last five stairs and take a deep breath. The cold air hits my skin. Next song: This war is ours by ETF.
‘Feeling in the mood for something dangerous’. It’s not like walking on the road at 5 am makes you somewhat excited, it’s just that this lyric get’s you in a trance. And afterwards you feel like wearing your sunglasses waiting for the sun to rise. It’s just a way of showing that you’re not like the others, normal, simple and usual. You make the lyrics glow, you make them feel real. Which just happens to be a special view for that special someone that is watching [Attention: kids, don’t try this at home]: a lunatic with sunglasses in darkness, feeling excited, yelling some lyrics, while walking alone on the street. Sounds cool, right? [You’ve just got PWNED]
5:02 am. Feels like the time stopped for a second, just for me to wake up and see. What? That I’m currently walking on the street at JUST 5am. Nothing’s weird till now. Actually I managed to escape for like 2 minutes from what I wanted.
Looking around and seeing nothing. At least nothing else than what I expected.
Walking into the park brought nothing more than a sight from me. The exit door still seems far away from me. Everything seems so…asleep. Like it’s too early. ‘Yeah right…early my ass!’
I’m just trying to find a place…a place to hide. From what? Duties? Nah, too simple. Stress? Since when am I stressed? School? It’s weekend, what more. Then what?
Everything seems so logic and…
Wait. I feel like I forgot something. Something important. And by that I don’t mean grandma’s glasses or my head. Nothing looks weirder than a person that stops in the middle of the road and stares at some inexistent point for 2 seconds before searching desperately for its cell phone. Cell phone?! That’s it. I forgot to turn off my phone -.-‘
Situations...are irrelevant now. So just walking will eventually get me to the instrumental part, where Monte rocks his guitar sticking his tongue like crazy.
The Halloween topic. “Injects my head with lies, slowly crushing my bones, sending me to my grave.” I feel the pressure. Getting older is not a choice; it’s a way of turning you black and blue [or just getting wrinkles].
I will fight my battle till I fall, till I conquer them all. All those stupid ideas will eventually dig your grave. But we should just feel 10 miles further from our grave than we were last year.
These issues, they choke me like a noose.
I get it now. This déjà-vu. It’s not from trying to escape a simple birthday, it’s actually escaping from these 4 minutes of “blabla-ing” till the song ends. Lying is not my favorite fashion so “Happy Halloween”.
Silent footsteps…then run as quick as you can. Lock the door. Jump the last five stairs and take a deep breath. The cold air hits my skin. Next song: This war is ours by ETF.
‘Feeling in the mood for something dangerous’. It’s not like walking on the road at 5 am makes you somewhat excited, it’s just that this lyric get’s you in a trance. And afterwards you feel like wearing your sunglasses waiting for the sun to rise. It’s just a way of showing that you’re not like the others, normal, simple and usual. You make the lyrics glow, you make them feel real. Which just happens to be a special view for that special someone that is watching [Attention: kids, don’t try this at home]: a lunatic with sunglasses in darkness, feeling excited, yelling some lyrics, while walking alone on the street. Sounds cool, right? [You’ve just got PWNED]
5:02 am. Feels like the time stopped for a second, just for me to wake up and see. What? That I’m currently walking on the street at JUST 5am. Nothing’s weird till now. Actually I managed to escape for like 2 minutes from what I wanted.
Looking around and seeing nothing. At least nothing else than what I expected.
Walking into the park brought nothing more than a sight from me. The exit door still seems far away from me. Everything seems so…asleep. Like it’s too early. ‘Yeah right…early my ass!’
I’m just trying to find a place…a place to hide. From what? Duties? Nah, too simple. Stress? Since when am I stressed? School? It’s weekend, what more. Then what?
Everything seems so logic and…
Wait. I feel like I forgot something. Something important. And by that I don’t mean grandma’s glasses or my head. Nothing looks weirder than a person that stops in the middle of the road and stares at some inexistent point for 2 seconds before searching desperately for its cell phone. Cell phone?! That’s it. I forgot to turn off my phone -.-‘
Situations...are irrelevant now. So just walking will eventually get me to the instrumental part, where Monte rocks his guitar sticking his tongue like crazy.
The Halloween topic. “Injects my head with lies, slowly crushing my bones, sending me to my grave.” I feel the pressure. Getting older is not a choice; it’s a way of turning you black and blue [or just getting wrinkles].
I will fight my battle till I fall, till I conquer them all. All those stupid ideas will eventually dig your grave. But we should just feel 10 miles further from our grave than we were last year.
These issues, they choke me like a noose.
I get it now. This déjà-vu. It’s not from trying to escape a simple birthday, it’s actually escaping from these 4 minutes of “blabla-ing” till the song ends. Lying is not my favorite fashion so “Happy Halloween”.
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